That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
