walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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