I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
