I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
