Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
