i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
