Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Found your dick twin last night
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
