he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
