Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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