Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
