"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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