i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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