At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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