why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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