i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
