This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
