bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
