Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
