Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
and i looked up. we had an audience...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
