i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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