try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
