Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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