Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
