It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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