guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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