hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
