Whod you bang
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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