party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
