When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
