I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
false alarm, still single
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
