There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
