We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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