so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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