I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
