Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
