I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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