The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
