singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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