There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
