She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
