Can i not drive my cunt home
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
