I want to have your abortion
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
