how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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