They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
