So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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