if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
