Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
