i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
