i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
