Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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